18. Change is Possible
I want you to know that it is possible to change unwanted thoughts, feelings, behaviors and beliefs, creating choices to live the life you desire. For lasting change, we need to work with underlying unconscious patterns and programs we experience as unwanted feelings that repeatedly recreate our problems. Outdated and ineffective old tapes from our childhood are playing in our head, directing our thoughts and controlling our experiences.
19. More on Change is Possible
This seems obvious; however, I need to say it: Change can’t and won’t happen unless and until we do something different. The challenge is that we often want change, but we don’t want to do anything different to contribute to facilitating change. People tend to want to keep doing what is familiar and comfortable and often don’t want to let go of old patterns and responses.
20. Effective Ways to Find Resolution for Unwanted Feeling Responses
I want to focus on effective ways to deal with and find resolution for unwanted feeling responses we want to manage differently, such as anger, fear, and worry.
21. Identifying Where to Focus to Make Changes
Today, I would like to share ways to identify where to focus your attention to help make changes to improve your life, mental health, and sense of well-being.
22. The General Cause of People's Problems and How We Get Stuck in Them
When a new client comes in to see me for their first session, I ask what problems bring them to therapy and how they hope to benefit from counseling. They share their problems and often state that their goal for counseling is to know why they are the way they are.
23. Resolving Unwanted Feelings
Many forms of counseling attempt to try to figure out where problems originated and understand why we feel what we do, which generally keeps us stuck rehashing and reliving our past difficulties, problems, and traumas. It is not very beneficial to focus our attention on what’s wrong with us and explore how we became broken. We just make up another story about ourselves and believe it is true.
24. Creating Success in Our Primary Relationships
A healthy relationship is based on loving and accepting ourselves and our partner fully and unconditionally. It helps both people in the partnership become more and better than they were without their significant other. Joy and happiness are part of a healthy relationship.
don Americo
Today, I would like to introduce you to our shaman, don Americo Yabar. For many years, my husband, David, and I had attended gatherings with Americo in various beautiful outdoor settings here in the U.S. We even hosted retreats with him in Utah and Colorado.
More with don Americo
One evening, Americo asked my husband David and me if we would like to have our tea leaves read by Migileto (who you met last week - the elder Paq’o who lived in one room in a building around the town square). We readily agreed!
Our Adventure with don Americo Concludes
We spent several days at Americo’s home in the valley of Salka Wasi at the edge of the village, Mollo Marco. During our stay, we mingled with the indigenous people as if we were members of their village, being immersed in their culture of coming from the heart.
Case Study Part I
I walked in to schedule an appointment for a pedicure. The manicurist was on the phone, so I had a few moments to glance around her one room shop. A book on her table caught my eye: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay - one of my all-time favorite books.
Case Study Part II
Continuing where I left off last week, sharing my work with my manicurist . . . It was obvious to me that she was suffering from severe PTSD. After being in counseling for the better part of 30 years, she was still having severe fear reactions. Fortunately, she was open to trying something different that might help her have choices to live with more self-esteem.
My Healing Story, Part I
I was well into my Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) studies and in my second year of graduate school for my MSW (Master of Social Work), when I was in a horrific automobile accident. My fiancé, Bill, was killed instantly, and I nearly died, breaking many bones in my body. I had never known anyone who had died, and I had never broken a bone.
My Healing Story, Part II
One of my friends who came to visit me in the hospital asked: “How can you manage to cope with all the tragedy going on in your life?" (Fortunately, most people didn’t say that out loud.) My response was: "What choice do I have?" I was forced to go beyond anything I thought I was capable of dealing with and learned new ways to handle challenges.