1. A Map for Change
I would like to share with you a brief overview of what I call A Map for Change. This is a step-by-step process to help you have choices and respond differently to your circumstance. There are a plethora of nuances and many specifics for effective and lasting change. I want to share the basic framework I have used with thousands of clients and numerous problem areas in my own life.
1. Identify (briefly) what isn’t working. This is your Problem State.
2. What do you want instead? What is your Desired Outcome? Define using Well-Formed Outcome conditions.
3. What have you already been trying to do to resolve this? – What is your Attempted Solution?
These questions guide you to recognize what you have been trying to do already, so you can re-direct yourself to find other choices. For example, people who are trying to lose weight count calories, fat grams, or “points”, requiring a constant focus on food. This comes with repeated feelings of failing when they do not follow the prescribed plan, contributing to feelings of hopelessness and wanting to give up. This does not help us get the response we want, however we keep repeating this pattern over and over again, trying harder and failing more. The definition of Insanity.
4. Then, explore What Prevents, what gets in the way of doing what you need to do to get what you want? This information discovered by going within - not from your conscious mind. For example, if someone wants to lose weight, yet craves foods they know they shouldn’t have, the experience of giving in to the cravings is what prevents them from making the food choices they need.
Trying to get rid of this unconsciously generated response (the cravings) through conscious effort tends to set us up for an internal “power struggle” (that we usually lose), leading us to become stuck in a rut, yet continue to repeat the unwanted patterns.
You can work toward resolution when you learn to work with the unwanted response, finding out the inner needs it has been trying to meet and find other, better ways to get the needs met.
When this happens, your unwanted responses often melts away gently and easily, and most importantly, new choices become available automatically!
5. Notice if what you are doing differently is helping you move toward your goals – measure behavioral results that indicate evidence of change. If things are working differently and better, keep doing what you are that is contributing to a positive and new direction. If not, do something different.
My orientation to change is solution-focused: What is your current Problem State and what is your Desired Outcome? I will help you determine what has been getting in the way of what you want and help you find a resolution to move toward your goals to create the life you want.